Jay’s story begins on Thursday morning, October 1, 2015. I was due on October 7th, but because of a back injury and the sense that my belly could not possibly hold anymore baby than was already in there, I was hoping and praying that our boy would arrive early. On top of that, October 1st was my father’s birthday and it was the last day that my doctor would be in town for another whole week. I was getting anxious.
At 3:45am I felt my first contraction. I had been experiencing contractions for a few weeks, but right away I knew this one was different. I rested in bed and waited to see if another would come. It did. Then another. In that zone between sleep and waking, I thought an hour has passed. I mentally calculated, “oh, every 20 minutes.” I checked my watch and discovered it had only been 20 minutes since the first contraction, “oh, every 6.5 minutes!” That got me excited.
At about 4:30am I got out of bed. I meditated for a brief time and then went to the living room with my iPhone contraction timer app at the ready and picked up where I had left off the night before in the Autobiography of a Yogi.
The chapter I was reading was perfect – An Experience in Cosmic Consciousness. As I finished the poem Samadhi, my contractions picked up and I couldn’t sit still anymore. I had to move.
Not wanting to wake anyone yet, I got in the shower. I started to buzz quietly around the house, packing bags and making food for in the hospital. At 5:45am Badri rose for his Sadhana and I told him I was in early labor.
The next several hours went along peacefully. I sat on a yoga ball and timed contractions while Badri fed Tulsi and got her ready for the day. By 9am my contractions were getting difficult to talk through, so we called Jaya and asked her to come be with Tulsi so we could go to the hospital.
10am found us in Labor and Delivery, checking in for the big day. The nurse could see I was in labor, but she checked me and found that I wasn’t far along. She explained that she couldn’t “admit” me yet, but I could remain there and labor to see if I progress and can be officially admitted. With that news, I braced myself for another long labor…boy was I wrong.
After the initial check in, the nurse helped me into a jacuzzi tub down the hallway. She said I’d need to come out in 45 minutes to be checked for progress. Sounded fine to me, so I sank gently into the warm water and continued to breathe through contractions.
I noticed something different about this labor. With each contraction, I would visualize baby’s head descending. I could feel a twinge of fear, but I would push it away with my breath and continue mentally pushing baby towards the exit. When I labored with Tulsi, I would breathe through each contraction, but I had a subconscious fear of the next stage…I didn’t want it to get worse. This time, I knew I could handle it and that the sooner it got harder the better.
Out of the tub and back on the monitor. My doctor was going to come up from his office around lunchtime, so the nurse didn’t check me and left me there to labor on the monitor. Badri took care of me and breathed along with my contractions. Noon quickly turned to 12:30 pm and we were greeted by the sweet smile of Badri’s mom, Jaimie, fresh from her flight booked just that morning. We were beyond thrilled that she could be here for the birth this time – she missed Tulsi’s arrival by a mere hour last time!
12:46pm my water broke. My contractions had been fairly strong, but with this development, I knew they would increase. I had no idea how much I had progressed because I hadn’t been checked since 10am.
12:46pm to 1:14pm, when baby Jay Satya Matlock slid into my arms are a total blur of excitement. Contractions moved immediately to Transition. My doctor was called urgently and practically flew up from his office. In the middle of a contraction I cried out, “why do I need to push?!!!!” in utter confusion at how quickly this was moving.
Sure enough, I was ready to birth this baby boy! My doctor arrived with just enough time to put on gloves and a cover for his nice suit. Three contractions later, Jay was born – 8lbs 5 oz and 21 inches long at 1:14pm on October 1, 2015. It was beyond amazing. In pure joy, stupefied amazement and bliss, I snuggled his little body on mine and everyone jumped around me in excitement. No one could believe how quickly Jay had arrived. No one could believe how smoothly his delivery. My doctor suggested we have a dozen more. I declined his suggestion and Badri said we’d stop while we’re ahead, thanks!
Birth is just the beginning, of course. The beginning of a new life, of healing, of learning and loving. Motherhood is teaching me in ways I never dreamed. Through sleepless nights, tears and endless laughter…through imagination, frustration and snuggles. I’m forever grateful that the gurus of Kriya Yoga showed a way to freedom through family and unconditional love. May we all feel the pure love of the Divine for each other in our hearts.
Namaste
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